Be the Civility You Wish to See

If you’ve felt like people seem angrier in recent years, you’re not necessarily wrong! Since the pandemic, it feels as if everyone has a hair-trigger temper. Plus, it doesn’t help that we are currently in a heated election year. If you are fed up with all the rage and long for more civility, the change starts with you. Here are “9 Civility & Respect” tips you can practice when facing disagreements or potential conflict at work and at home.

  1. Keep respect in the forefront. It might sound simplistic, but practicing the Golden Rule should be your baseline behavior.
  2. Give people the benefit of the doubt. People who think differently than you are not bad or evil. Plus, you don’t know what 
          life burdens they may be carrying. Avoid judgmental thinking.
  3. Focus on areas of agreement and common ground rather than divisions. Learn to separate the action/issue from the
         person. Focus on shared goals and professionalism.
  4. Aim to resolve, not to win. In any disagreement, your goal shouldn’t be to win an argument but to find alignment
         and mutual goals.
  5. Learn to really listen. Don’t assume or jump to conclusions. Clarify what you’ve heard by using a feedback loop and
         rephrasing what you hear. Avoid interrupting.
  6. Don’t hit below the belt. Don’t accuse or exploit weaknesses or sensitivities. Don’t try to score points. Offer reassurance of
         continued regard. Try practicing the Grandmother rule: Would you be comfortable saying this in front of your Grammy? If
         not, think twice!
  7. It’s not just about you. Try not to personalize what you hear and to listen for the other person’s thoughts,
         feelings, and needs.
  8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Shrug off petty annoyances. Don’t nurture grudges. Forgive and forget.
  9. Stay in control. Use words to express your feelings, not actions. If you feel your anger or emotions rising, lower the
         temperature by taking a break, If you know you are quick to anger or “rise to the bait” take an EAP anger management
         course or call a counselor/coach at 800-252-4555 24/7/365 for help.

Featured Webinar for July 

Household and Individual Budgeting

Get better control of your money! This webinar will review key principles of money management, the value of a budget, creating a safety & security account, and ways to manage and improve cash on hand. Simply log in to during July to take the webinar at your convenience and explore related resources.

Summer Nutrition Tips

Increase your water intake. In hot weather, we all sweat more and need to replenish fluids. Carry a water bottle with you when outdoors.

Downsize your portions and eat lightly. Here’s a “handy” guide to portion control Eat fresh and local. Fill half your plate with fruits and vegetables and reduce processed foods in your diet. Visit your Self-Help Resource Center to search for “summer recipes.”

            July Training Suggestions

            Trainings from ESI are so convenient; you can even take them online while you lounge at the beach this summer. Here are 3 self-improvement suggestions. Simply click on “Member Login” at, sign in, and click on the comprehensive training library in the “Training Center.”

            • NEW! Critical Thinking 101: Developing Yourself as a Critical Thinker| Course ID: SVL_1022453
              Learn to develop critical thinking skills such as eliminating biases, being a team player, and other skills you can use on and off the job in this 5-minute video.
            • Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Model| Course ID: SVL_1021300
              Learn strategies for productively dealing with conflicts, including avoidance, accommodation, competition, collaboration, and compromise in this 7-minute course.
            • 9 Easy Ways to Be Smarter Every Day | Course ID: SVL_102403
              Want to improve your “mental horsepower”? This 10-minute lesson explores actions and habits
              to improve your mental capacities and readiness.


            Learn More!

            How to Scan a QR Code

            1. Open the camera app.
            2. Select the rear-facing camera in Photo mode.
            3. Center the QR code you want to scan on the screen and hold your phone steady for a couple of seconds.
            4. Tap the notification that pops up to open the link. (You will need to be connected to the internet to do this.)

            Don’t Forget!

            EAP services are available to you and your household members as well as dependent children living away from home, up to age 26. 

            Accessing Your EAP Training Center

            1. Go to and
            click Member Login.

            2. If you’ve already created an
            account, log in with your User

            3. If it’s your first time, click
                 REGISTER to create your User
            Name and Password. You only
            need to register once.

            4. Click the ‘Training Center’ and
            then choose ‘Comprehensive
            Training library

            5. In the Search bar at the top of the
            screen, type the course code or
            search for a topic.

            6. Click the course icon, and click the
            Play’ or ‘Start’ button to begin.

            To get a certificate: View the course and take the quiz. Not all courses require a quiz, but if so, you must score at least 80% for a certificate. To get your certificate, click on the ribbon icon below the right corner of the video. The certificate will download to your computer.

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